Uthman Qasim
I write with utmost understanding of your desire to make a living through an acceptable means and your zeal to pursue a passion inspired by social media. The last time I wanted to pen you this piece was last month when the US government alerted her citizens of an impending terrorist attack in Abuja (which has not come to past). I contemplated between writing to you or writing to Mr Joe Biden to stop making Nigerians panic in their own country over an alert no one could issue in America except the American government. Today, I have chosen to let the old man be and communicate to you, Mr Prankster.
Nigerians are naturally happy people as you could see them crying today after bandits’ attack and dancing the next day over a football match played in another country. They could even be drinking champagne at nightclubs when flood victims are certain that after hell, their community is next. I am sure you know that people also happily dance in the sun during political rallies organized by those who ensure clean water, quality education and food are things of rarity. I will be surprised if you claim oblivion of memes created when one naira was begging dollars for an exchange rate of N800. One of the memes said, ” the way naira is falling, we will all agree by the end of the year that trade-by-batter should be reintroduced in 2023″. We always find something to be happy about except your pranks that are only funny to those who break bottles on one another’s heads because of what a Nigerian politician said about another politician a few days after they changed camps.
I watched many prank videos you made that have put on hold, beautiful relationships, especially when you put one lover on a call and the other received breaking news. I cannot forget the ones where you poured big bowls of water on slay queens going to a safe location to do their tik tok videos. I also watched the ones you handed over notes to married women asking them to go put on their bra. As funny as you think these videos are, they embarrass your characters beyond your imagination. Did I say your characters? No. I actually meant your victims.
Things are hard in this country and we need to laugh more to tame our frustrations, but not to add more sorrow to market women who have not sold anything and you make them run away from their umbrella shade because you run past them like a mad man chasing a market security guard. I don’t know how you want me to laugh anytime you remove a lady’s wig at a shopping mall and run around with it. What if that is my sister or the love of my life? You will collect. What? I don’t know.
Mr Prankster, you can prank people without embarrassing them or raising their blood pressure. Some of our leaders are already doing that. Don’t join them. I anticipate your timely action on this letter as I count on your usual understanding. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Qasim writes from Abuja. He can be reached via [email protected]
