Marriage is a lifelong contract where adults male and female who fulfilled all necessary condition for marriage, unanimously consent to live together as husbands and wives—witnessed by the community in the presence of their guardians. When the connubial bliss takes place, it is with the hope that good offspring will be gotten, who would be good citizens and vicegerents of true piety.
Matrimony in Hausa land is always same and mostly based on love and mutual acceptance for both the woman and the man, but along the way, the Hausa post marriage life becomes questionable, as divorce is stealing the crave unity. Worrisome, it is.
Every weekend is a conjugal fanfare in Hausa land and anywhere they live in Nigeria but before long, it has happened. Divorce, a onetime queen of her quarters has now join the league of divorcees in the community and add up to the infinite numbers of separated ladies in Hausa land.
Is it Hausa deportment to divorce? Can parting ways truly be a solution to the ever jaded coitus of a man? Or is it a taste and see situation the innocent Hausa lady finds herself?
This cannot be a religious stipulation. This is fancified and coated in masculine greediness for flair of sex. When his Royal Highness Muhammad Sanusi II, Emir of kano hinted the damages which senseless irreligious divorce is causing and continued to cause in Hausa land, the inconsolable, perhaps perpetrators of divorce were raucous and calling for his dethronement.
The Parents cannot go scout-free as their contributions whether consciously or out of ignorance need to be addressed so as to get to the root cause of the insanity of divorce in Hausa land. Some Parents, both mothers and fathers lure their daughters into a marriage against their will simply due to the man’s affluence or status, undermining the daughter’s choice on the ground of lack, or wealth deficiency, or poor income in the house. So, they Channel the girl sentimentally into accepting a man older than her.
In the ancient time, Hausas were somewhat lenient on marriage, forced marriages where heard around but not rampant and home problems were minimal as the couples live in contentment and patience. The culture and norms of average Hausa has now taking a turn, metamorphosing into lavish weddings and display of wealth.
This has negative impact on unmarried ladies; if a groom cannot afford some the luxury, the marriage is nullified even on the day of tying the knot. What matters is not the calibre of the person per say; but the amount of money a man accumulates.
Cases of rich men marrying ladies from poor guys are normal in Hausa culture nowadays due to lack of foresight for the future. It is believed that a daughter can’t suffer in her matrimonial home. She must have all she wants at her disposal.
The Hausa man is famous for taking good care of woman but ability to retain marriage is now a mirage as in many circumstances he resorts to divorce whenever things go sour; he believes many ladies are seeking for husbands out there. So he remarries or take a second wife with little or no proper care.
If his earnings dwindle, he sacks one. No wonder, the Nupes, the Gbagis and many Hausa neighbors abhors the idea of giving a Hausa man a girl to marry as he is notorious with divorce syndrome all over.
Religious clerics Such as Shiek Ahmad BUK, Daurawa and Ali Pantami are well abreast of this phenomenon and are constantly admonishing for a total change, so, recognition should be relinquish to them. With the help of these and the rest of our eloquent and vast Islamic Scholars, our collapsing marriage system can be resuscitated for the sake of the unborn generation—for the innocent women send out of matrimonial abode indiscriminately due to injustice and ignorance.
Let there be marriage counselors and therapists where intending couples would be coached on the marriage aspect and agreements signed before the council of Islamic scholars so that as they joined hand in uniting a happy union, same will be replicated when things went wrong in order to attain justice for all.
The various states governments must step into this social crusade and call on people in their respective states to embrace true Islamic values. The Federal government should as a matter of fact declare state of emergency on marriages and kind-hearted individuals should give their own quarter in their respective communities.
Musa Ibrahim writes from Kano. He can be reached at 08033245669
