As the world embarks on a 16-day activism against Sexual and Gender-based violence (SGBV), WikkiTimes during an interactive and sensitization session with students in Bauchi State tertiary institutions, shared their harrowing experience. Many of them are struggling to heal.
Speaking up, they believe, helps heal, but not in a society ‘like ours.’ Stigma and in some cases, condemnation (against the victim) that follow afterwards weigh heavier than the abuse itself. While they could not speak verbally, some of them penned their pains but pleaded anonymity. Although some of them wrote about their associates.
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A SINGLE MOTHER LIVING WITH A SCAR
This is a story of a single mother who is trying to let go of the past even as she caters for her six years old child amid academic pursuits. The man who took her dignity did not take responsibility and the authority to whom the matter was reported ‘silenced’ it.
It happened when she was 21. She had just finished her secondary school examination when her boyfriend invited her to his place.
“It was in 2015 when I finished my secondary school,” she wrote. “Then, I was into a serious relationship with my guy. I loved him so much, and he also loved me, but not knowing he was after my body.”
“I was a virgin then and always afraid to give my body because my parents always warned us against se*,” she continued. “One faithful, he invited me to his place saying he wanted to see me…”
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She claimed his boyfriend drugged her and had his way. “He put drugs in my drink and that is how he ended up having se* with me,” she claimed.
According to her, that led to a pregnancy which produced a baby (name withheld) who is now six.
But not getting justice hurts her. “It is a long story,” she added. “My parents reported the matter to the police but they were not serious with it and that is how it ended…”
“For now, I am living happily with my daughter and family, but it is a story I can never forget…,” she concluded.
‘MEN ARE VICTIMS TOO‘
During the interaction, some male students protested that the campaign against gender-based violence mainly advocates for women’s rights. What about men that were violated? They asked. However, some of them penned their personal experience.
“It happened to me about 20 years ago at my residence,” one of them wrote. “One aunty would always take me inside her room … It kept happening until she got married and left our area.”
Another male student recalled an incident he witnessed. “Actually, I witnessed a scenario that played out in my sight when a man was raped by three girls somewhere in Abeokuta, Ogun State in 2019,” he wrote, asking why are abuse against men given little or no attention.
READ: 721 Women, Children Raped in Kano within 9 Months
“It was never funny,” another male student wrote. “My past was terrible. I have two aunties who sexually abused me whenever they are bathing me. I could not share the experience with anyone.”
“They used to buy me snacks and other things and that is how I grew up. Many emotional and mental stress,” he added.
OTHER ACCOUNTS
“A friend of mine was sexually harassed by a man who promised to take responsibility for her school and others,” a female student wrote. “She later got pregnant for him and aborted it because her family respects the man a lot. But she did not tell anyone…”
She further narrated a scenario concerning another friend who had a miscarriage as a result of repeated assaults by her husband.
