In most cultures, Marriage where meant to be a life-long contract , but the stability that characterized the pre-colonial African societies seems to have disappeared with the alarming incidence of divorce and separation. The demanding and challenging atmosphere of urbanization has posed great problem on the contemporary families.
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It will appear that families in contemporary societies are confronted by myriads of pressures which are yet to be properly handled (Fumerayem 1991). All these problems lead to broken homes.
A broken home simply means a failed marriage either through divorce, desertion, separation or death. It could also mean homes where there is persistent conflict or where there is residential separation between spouses who were hitherto living together in a legitimate marital cohabitation and homes characterized by structural problem
It has been quite difficult to obtain dependable statistics of broken homes both nationally and in most developing countries. This is because the act remains hidden and most provincial and territorial marriage welfare laws require undisclosed proceeding on broken homes in order to protect the integrity of the children and couples.
Similarly there might be a consensus between the couples and their relatives to have a peaceful separation without going to court or even subjecting the issue to public scrutiny and any other form of official intervention.
In Nigeria, broken homes are inflamed by colonialism and all its paraphernalia such as western education, police, Courts and so on. It has facilitated changes in socioeconomic roles and responsibilities as well as rights and obligations of couples.
Women now take paid employments in order to supplement or support the family leaving the primary roles they are trusted for. These roles may include the socialization of the children, nurturing, care taking, psychological and therapeutic roles.
Sometimes their sexual functions are also disrupted as they tend to be tired and less-available when they get back from work. In addition, socialization and increasing demand for women emancipation from feelings of male dominance has further put some homes in tension (Newman, 1999).
Perhaps the most important factor in the increase in marital breakdown in the 20th century could be as a result of greater acceptance of divorce and tolerance resulting from relaxation of negative attitudes towards divorce among various religious denominations.
The Concept of Family
The family refers to a kinship grouping which provides for the rearing of children and for certain other needs. The family has often been regarded as the cornerstone of society. In pre-modern societies alike it has been seen as the most basic unit of social organization and one that carries out vital tasks, such as children.
Until the 1960s, few sociologists questioned the importance or the benefits of the family life. Most sociologists assumed that family was evolving as modernity progressed, and that changes involved made the family better suited to meeting the needs of society and family members.
A particular type of family, the nuclear family (based around a two-generation household of parents and their children), was seen as well adapted to the demands of modern societies.
The causes of broken homes
The causes of broken homes cannot be over-emphasized as they emanate from one or more of the following reasons; male importance, growing incompatibility between spouses or between one of them and their in-laws, adultery, infidelity, increasing poverty (Ottite and Ogionwo 1994), and so on. In addition, socialization and increasing demand for women emancipation from feelings of male dominance has further put some homes in tension (Newman, 1999).
Perhaps the most important factor in the increase in marital breakdown in the 20th century could be as a result of greater acceptance of divorce and tolerance resulting from relaxation of negative attitudes towards divorce among various religious denominations.
Sociologically, there is no society without social problems. Broken home is one of such problems and it has various effects on child’s development. These effects include the destabilization of the child’s personality development, moral development, academic development, interpersonal development and Economic development. A child is like an organ or a system that depends on two powerful organs (mother and father) working collectively in harmony to ensure his stability.
If these powerful organs around the child are not working in harmony collectively as a result of breakdown, then there is a tendency for these effects to emanate on the child’s development (Linda, David and Schacht, 2012).
Developing a coping strategy by the children is often a complex task for parents and social service professionals. Since divorce affects children in a variety of ways, steps to reduce the negative impacts of divorce may need to be multi-faceted and specifically tailored to the needs and life circumstances of the particular child.
The more severely children are affected, the more intense the intervention which is required, with some children needing attention from trained psychologists or counselors. Other children may receive help from family or peers, or in their local environment.
Research findings suggest several strategies that help the affected children to cope with the menace of divorce, such as increasing the self-sufficiency of single mothers, reducing conflict between parents, investigating alternatives to court for deciding custody and access arrangements, improving access arrangements, and making use of support groups outside the immediate family.
Experts often point to the complex notion of resilience to explain the qualities that enable a child to navigate safely through the effects of broken homes, while others seem to inescapably fall through the cracks.
According to Alissa (2011), there are key elements of resilience in which the children have to deal with the challenges associated with life. They include competence, confidence, connection, character, control, contribution and finally coping which is our limit.
While all of them are important, the primary element of resilience is about the importance of good coping strategies. There are different kinds of coping strategies, the strategy is at the children’s level (resilience), and it includes passive coping strategy and active coping strategy.
Shuaibu Lawan writes from Kano. He could be reached at [email protected] or 08037340560 (Text Only)
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflects WikkiTimes’
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